Being friends

By TAN LING SUAN (The Star)

It is important to make time for friends as we grow older.

FRIENDSHIP can be inspiring and healing, if you are the type to nurture your relationships with old friends and colleagues, and others of any age group.

Studies have confirmed that such relationships keep you healthier.

There are times when loving family members are not around when you need solace most, and the presence of a caring friend is therapeutic. It zaps stress, revs up the immune system, and imbues us with a sense of security. We feel lifted up, happy, hopeful and loved.

In an enduring friendship, you learn to be loyal and patient. You forgive each other’s weaknesses and build on your strengths. You are honest with each other, and you have heart-to-heart chats.

You may do silly little things and often have a good laugh together. The more you can laugh together and at each other, the healthier the relationship is.

There may be a price to pay when you make friends too much of a priority. You may have to adjust your own leisure hours, have less privacy, tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies, and compromise on eating and shopping habits.

The important thing here is not to be possessive about each other’s time and company. And be comfortable enough to say that you want some time alone when the need arises.

Do not look for perfect friends. After all, could you promise to be a perfect one too? Through the years, having lived in different towns and cities, I have gained an increasing number of good friends. I enjoy various activities with them at different times in different places.

I have also kept up with some friends from my schooldays, my Kirkby friends who shared the unique experience of teacher-training in England, ex-colleagues from different schools, ex-neighbours and new ones, and fellow volunteers in various establishments. Through the years, we have accepted the changes that come with growing older.

I read somewhere that “There are big ships and there are small ships, but the best ship of all is friendship”.

A certain David Tyson Gentry has been quoted as saying: “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”

Yes, we don’t need to keep talking just to pass the time. As we grow older, we should be mellow enough to enjoy both active and restful sessions together; in fact, we might fare better with the latter.

For some of us, we are blessed with a spouse whom we consider as our best friend. We couldn’t ask for more.

We will never be lonely when we make time for friends. May we all grow old happily together through the magical bonds of enduring friendships